Today as we celebrate the diamond jubilee of Pakistan’s independence, I wonder if you are proud of what we have accomplished so far. As jubilant Pakistanis consecutively zoom past my window on their bikes, expressing their immense joy at their independence by continuously blowing trumpets, blaring music through loudspeakers, and firing bullets in the air (while unfortunately injury and killing innocent people with their wayward bullets but they do not mean to do that-those are just accidents) I realize that we have come a long way from what we had been, because now we can finally freely do as we wish and this is exactly what you must have wanted for us- to live as we wished. We can celebrate our independence by wearing green and white on independence day and enjoy the holiday with complete unity, faith, and discipline. Media channels can color their logos with the Pakistani flag, show special transmissions throughout the day, and express joy at the fact that Google decorated its logo in honor of Pakistan. Universities and colleges hold events on the 13th or 14th of August because surely you understand that we can not hold any sort of event on the 15th. We can recount stories of how our elders laid down their lives to get this free land for us to live in and sing songs in memory of leaders like you and Allama Iqbal who gifted the nation with such a beautiful country. Sir, I am sorry to report that we had to cut down a lot of forests on our way to glory (they were getting in our way to success) and we have still not been able to devise a proper system for waste disposal, we dump it in the rivers and sea (the beach turns out all kinds of waste and the marine life has started to deplete) but that’s no issue because all of this was extremely necessary for the betterment of the country and we even plant seedlings on 14th of August for the preservation of our environment.
Sir, as you had guided the country runs completely on the principles of Islam with just a few deficiencies here and there. Nothing major- we just lie, cheat, and steal, sometimes-not always, there may be corruption in all segments of society but we do make excellent memes and are famous all around the world for them. We tend to avoid all kinds of hard work but don’t worry we have devised extremely innovative shortcuts to get everything done efficiently. Also, we know you would understand if we do not wish to stay here, because even though we do love our country, other countries offer such good scholarships and jobs that we have to go, but don’t worry about that too, we always come back after 30-40 years.
The democratic system too in our country works beautifully, even if there is some cheating in the elections, but so what? That happens everywhere and this is what democracy is all about, right? The best thing is that we have extremely capable statesmen in our country, they’ve promised in their speeches that our country is on its way to magnificence, we agree that everything is getting extremely overpriced these days and Pakistan is on the verge of bankruptcy now and then but it’s not a big deal because we always get some aid or loans from countries who are doing better than us. Believe it or not, the government always spends some money on roads and infrastructure of the country, and we understand that it’s not a big deal if they keep some part of it because they work so hard for us that it’s okay if they keep something in return, we don’t mind it at all. Sir, the only things we lack are education, health, and food but these are secondary issues, we get excellent buses, bridges, and underpasses in exchange for those. Our hard-earned money might be laundered out of the country and corruption might be on its peak but the main thing is that Pakistan is prospering and that is all that matters.
I would conclude my letter by thanking you once again for fighting for Pakistan and urging you to take pride in our nation- no matter what anyone says too.