When you’re navigating co-parenting (whether post-divorce or in any separated parenting situation), a Parenting Plan is like your trusty roadmap. It’s a written agreement that outlines how you and your co-parent will share responsibilities for your child. Think of it as the who-what-when-where of raising your child apart. A clear parenting plan can prevent a lot of misunderstandings and conflicts because expectations are laid out from the start. It gives your child consistency and gives both parents a reference for what was agreed upon. Many family courts require or encourage a parenting plan, but even if not mandated, it’s wise for co-parents to have one.

A good parenting plan covers custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and other important agreements regarding the child’s upbringing. Below is a sample parenting plan template you can use as a starting point. Every family’s needs are different, so you can adjust and add to it as needed.

Parenting Plan Outline:

Custody and Decision-Making:

– Legal Custody:

We agree to joint legal custody. Both parents will share in major decisions about the child’s health, education, and welfare. (If one parent has sole legal custody, specify that, but still note if you’ll consult the other on major issues.)

– Physical Custody:

The child will reside primarily with [Parent A] and have substantial time with [Parent B] as per the schedule below. (Or if it’s truly 50/50, you can say “The parents will share physical custody on an equal basis.”)

OR-

– Both parents agree to communicate and cooperate on important decisions. We will not make a major decision (non-emergency medical treatment, school changes, etc.) without discussing it with the other parent in advance, aiming for consensus in the best interest of our child.

Regular Visitation Schedule:

– Weekdays:

The child will be with [Parent A] on Monday and Tuesday nights each week. The child will be with [Parent B] on Wednesday and Thursday nights each week.

– Weekends:

Parents will alternate weekends. [Parent A] has the child on the first and third weekends of the month from Friday after school (or 5 PM) until Sunday at 7 PM. [Parent B] has the child on the second and fourth weekends in the same manner. (Adjust this to whatever pattern you choose, e.g. a 2-2-3 schedule, or specific days. The key is clarity on who has the child when.)

Exchange Details:

Handoffs will happen at [neutral location or “at each parent’s home”]. (If school/daycare is used for exchange, note that: e.g. “On Monday, Parent B will drop child at school and Parent A will pick up after school, starting their custodial time.” This way no direct meetup needed.)

– Both parents shall ensure the child is ready at exchange times, and communicate promptly about any delays or changes.

Holiday and Special Occasion Schedule:

– We acknowledge holidays are important and will share them equitably. The following holiday schedule will supersede the regular schedule when conflicts arise:

Major Holidays:

Thanksgiving:

In even-numbered years, the child will spend Thanksgiving Day (and the associated school holiday break, if applicable) with [Parent A]. In odd-numbered years, with [Parent B]. (Many parents alternate years for big holidays.)

Winter Break/Christmas:

We will split the winter school break. For example, in even years: the first half of break (from school break start until Dec 26 at noon) with Parent A, and second half (Dec 26 noon to end of break) with Parent B. In odd years, switch. Christmas Day itself can be alternated or shared (e.g., child with one parent Christmas Eve and morning, and other parent Christmas afternoon and next day). Define it as suits your traditions.

Other Holidays:

(List any that matter to you – e.g., Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, etc. – and decide who gets which in a given year, or if you’ll always do a certain holiday, or alternate.) For example: Halloween – child will trick-or-treat with Parent B in even years, Parent A in odd years. Mother’s Day/Father’s Day – child spends Mother’s Day with mother, Father’s Day with father (regardless of whose turn on schedule).

Child’s Birthday:

We agree to either alternate who has the child on their birthday or, if feasible, both parents will be a part of a joint birthday celebration. (Some parents choose to celebrate separately; you can note that too. E.g., “Each parent will have an opportunity to celebrate the child’s birthday during their respective time closest to the date.”) – School Breaks:

(Spring break, etc., if not covered, specify how those are split or alternated.)

Vacation Plans:

– Each parent is entitled to [2 weeks] of vacation time with the child each year. The vacation shall not disrupt school unless mutually agreed. The parent planning vacation will give at least [30 days] notice to the other parent of the dates and itinerary if traveling. Regular schedule resumes after the vacation. (Specify any details: e.g., maybe one parent gets first pick of summer vacation in even years, the other in odd years, to be fair.)

We agree to communicate about travel plans and provide contact information while away. Both parents shall have reasonable phone/video contact with the child during vacations (frequency to be agreed ahead of time, e.g., a phone call every 3 days or something).

Communication and Contact:

We will keep each other informed of the child’s health, scholastic, extracurricular, and social developments. This includes sharing report cards, informing of any illnesses or doctor visits, upcoming school events, etc.

Phone/Video Contact:

When the child is with one parent, the other parent may have a set time to call or video chat. For instance, we agree [Parent A] can call each Wednesday at 7 PM when child is at Parent B’s, and [Parent B] can call each Sunday at 7 PM when child is at Parent A’s. Calls will be reasonable in length (around 15 minutes) and not during the child’s bedtime. The child may also request to call the other parent, and that should be allowed within reason.

Parents will communicate with each other via [text/email/phone] for co-parenting issues. We commit to a courteous, business-like tone in communications and to responding in a timely manner about child-related matters.

Transportation and Exchanges:

Outline who drives for pick-ups/drop-offs. (e.g., “Parent A will drop off the child at Parent B’s home at the start of Parent B’s custodial time. Parent B will drop off at Parent A’s home at the start of Parent A’s time.” Or “Exchanges will occur at school whenever possible to simplify transitions.”)

Both parents will ensure car seats (if applicable) are properly installed and used.

If a parent is unable to make an exchange at the agreed time, they will notify the other as soon as possible and arrange a make-up plan or alternative.

Education and Activities:

We will both be involved in the child’s education. Both parents can attend school functions (parent-teacher conferences, school plays, sports games, etc.) regardless of whose scheduled time it is.

We will consult each other on major educational decisions (school choice, tutoring, summer camp).

For extracurricular activities, we will coordinate so that the child can participate consistently. (For example, if the child has soccer practice on Parent B’s day, Parent B will take them to practice. Parent A will do the same on their days.)

Healthcare:

We will both have full access to the child’s medical records and providers.

[Parent A] will carry Health Insurance (if applicable). We will split uninsured medical costs [e.g., 50/50 or as per court order].

Each parent will inform by law the other of any medical appointments and invite the other to attend if appropriate. In emergencies, notify the other parent immediately.

We agree to follow any treatment plans/prescriptions consistently across both homes.

Child Support and Expenses:

(Often this is handled separately by court order, but you can note general understanding.) E.g., “Child support is determined by court order dated XYZ and will be paid accordingly.” Or if sharing expenses beyond support: “Parents agree to split mutually agreed-upon extracurricular activity fees or big expenses like school trips 50/50.” Always keep receipts and communicate about costs beforehand to avoid conflict.

Additional Agreements:

Consistency in Discipline:

Both parents will communicate about behavioral issues and try to maintain consistent rules and discipline (e.g., limit on screen time, homework rules) so the child has uniform expectations.

Religion:

(If applicable) The child will continue to attend [religious service/education] as prior to divorce. Parent A will take the child when it falls on their time, Parent B will do so on their time. (Or whatever arrangement suits your family’s beliefs.)

Extended Family:

Both parents will ensure the child can maintain relationships with grandparents and relatives from both sides. (For example, accommodating a reasonable request for the child to attend a cousin’s birthday on the other parent’s time, trading days if needed.)

Flexibility:

While this plan provides structure, we agree to be flexible and cooperative with each other. If special occasions or opportunities arise (a wedding, a family trip, etc.), we will discuss and try to accommodate adjustments, provided they are in the child’s best interest. Any long-term changes to the schedule will be put in writing (email is fine) so we both have a record.

Dispute Resolution:

If disagreements about the child arise, we will first try to resolve them between us through calm discussion. If we reach an impasse, we agree to consider mediation before any court motions (unless it’s an emergency). This is to keep matters constructive and reduce stress on the child.

Review of Plan:

We will review this parenting plan [every year] or as needed to see if adjustments are necessary as the child grows and circumstances change. Any modifications will be thoroughly communicated and agreed upon in writing (and court-approved if required).

This template covers the bases:

Custody,

Schedules,

Holidays,

Communication, and

Other key parenting aspects.

It’s always good to tailor it. For instance, if your child has special needs, include specifics about therapies or routines. If the child is an infant vs. a teenager, schedules and needs will differ (e.g., infants might need more frequent shorter contact with each parent, teens might have input on schedule).

Creating a best parenting plan can feel daunting, but think of it as an evolving guide. It’s there to help you co-parent smoothly. And it’s as much for the child as for you – it ensures your child can rely on both parents consistently and know what to expect in their new family arrangement. As one resource highlighted, a solid plan covering schedules and boundaries helps kids feel secure and reduces their anxiety, knowing both parents are working together for their well-being.​

Finally, life is dynamic. Be prepared to adjust the plan if needed. Maybe your 5-5-2-2 schedule works great now, but when your child becomes a busy high schooler, you all might decide to adjust to week-by-week because of school stability – and that’s okay. The best parenting plan is one that serves the child’s best interests and is followed with a spirit of cooperation and goodwill.

Creating and adhering to a thoughtful parenting plan is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child in a separated parenting situation – it shows them that even though their parents aren’t together, they are united in love for them and commitment to raising them well.

Closing Thoughts:

Parenting is a journey through many stages – from toddlerhood with its tantrums to adolescence with its quest for independence, from decisions about sleeping arrangements to navigating big family changes like divorce. Throughout this journey, a common thread in all these topics is connection and respect.

Whether you’re trying Montessori methods, practicing positive discipline, soothing a public meltdown, cuddling your infant at night, encouraging good behavior, or co-parenting after a divorce, the goal is to foster a healthy, secure relationship with your child.

We’ve covered a lot in this blog, but remember, you don’t have to be a perfect parent (no one is!). Positive parenting is as much a mindset as a set of techniques: it’s about seeing the world through your child’s eyes, being kind yet firm, and teaching by example.

It’s about knowing when to stand your ground and when to let go. It’s apologizing when you mess up, and forgiving your child when they do. It’s heavy on love and light on fear.

Parenthood will always throw new challenges at you, but equipped with these strategies:

Montessori’s independence,

Positive discipline’s communication,

Tantrum taming tricks,

Co-sleeping safety,

Broad positive parenting principles,

Compassionate co-parenting, and

Clear planning

You can face them with confidence. And you’re not alone. Millions of parents are out there winging it, learning, and growing just like you. Lean on communities (online or local parenting groups), experts (never hesitate to seek advice from pediatricians, child psychologists, or reliable books), and most importantly, lean on your own intuition. You know your child best.

As you continue on this wild ride of parenting, cherish the beautiful moments – the bedtime giggles, the teen who actually opens up to you, the artwork they made just for you. Those are the fuel that keep you going through the tantrums and eye-rolls. Every stage passes (yes, even the tantrums do end one day!). The days are long but the years are short, as the saying goes.

Keep encouraging, keep listening, keep loving. That’s the heart of positive parenting at any age. You’ve got this! And when in doubt, re-read this guide, take a deep breath, and know that with patience and positivity, you can navigate whatever parenthood throws your way. Here’s to you and your family – growing and thriving together.